A Yom Kippur Birthday Surgery Thought

I am reminded of the story in the Peanuts comic strip where Snoopy is writing his great novel. The novel involves three very separate and seemingly unrelated story lines (with the only one that I remember being the pirate ship sailing on an ocean). In the end, Snoopy brings the stories together. That concept certainly is not new in the annuls of story telling and writing, but it was new enough to make an impression on me. I wonder whether the author of Crash also read the Peanuts strip to come up with the ideas of finding the connection between the unconnected.

Today, there are three seemingly unrelated story lines taking place (certainly more, but I will focus on three).

Today is Yom Kippur. It is the Sabbath of Sabbaths, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. This is a day that for almost fifty years I have attended temple for Yom Kippur services with my family and/or friends. While it has not always been a day of prayer, for over the years my thoughts and feelings about prayer, and my understanding of the term "prayer" have changed, but it always has been a day of reflection and introspection, of thoughtfulness and attempts at connection, of atonement and intention. Yet, today is Yom Kippur and I am not in temple and not participating in services. I am in a hospital waiting room which, for today, will be my temple. I am joined by family and friends, and I will have to find time and focus to create this Yom Kippur.

Today is Debbie's birthday. Typically, this is a day for celebrating her life, a day to congratulate her on another year, a day to focus (at least part of the day) on her - to single her out, a day to review all of the many accomplishments of the past year, a day to recognize her wonderful character, and a day to let her know how much she is loved and appreciated. Yet today, there are competing interests and although we will do much that is typical for a birthday, it will be done in a different and less prioritized manner, and like the difference between touching something directly and touching it through a covering, the sensation of this birthday recognition will be tempered.

Today is Al's surgery. This day is one for which I can draw no comparisons, no statements of how I typically spend this day and event. Thankfully, there have been few days in my life when I have been part of the surgical waiting team and there have been even fewer (have there been any) days in which the surgery is of such significant import with such significant potential impact. The period leading up to today has been so very meaningful as we have spent more time with Al than we typically get and we have had the chance to appreciate (even more than usual) his life story and many special qualities. When we left him, as he was being wheeled off to the operating room, we all remarked about the strength and dignity with which he was facing yet another one of his life challenging/threatening mission. Although only spoken about on the edges, there is no question that he and we know the risks involved and the potential benefits, and there was no need to speak directly about them. What was important was to speak about, or to convey simply with touches, looks, laughter and smiles, was those matters that did not start today but have been in every day of his life (and will be in every future day, week and year) - love and caring, the manner in which one chooses to live life and make his decisions, the importance of family and values, the importance of of making a difference. This is a man who has made a difference at so many levels throughout his life, and today we both reflect on those, and we think about the future and the impacts that he will make on lives as he continues to set the example, teach the lessons, create and inspire in his days to come - through his recovery and beyond.

So, three seemingly different and unrelated events on the same day are actually very connected. On this day of Yom Kippur, Debbie's birthday and Al's surgery, we find that we are performing the same ritual for each and unlike a typical day in which we may think about these topics, today we do so with a heightened sense of importance and focus. We reflect on all that has brought us to this day of Yom Kippur, Debbie's birthday and Al's surgery, and on that which each of us has brought to this day. We give thanks for all that we have - for the blessings of our lives. We look forward to the days and years to coming knowing that we cannot know what awaits us, but also knowing that we approach the future with love and optimism, with hope and intent, with a promise to live our lives fully. Perhaps this is the best Yom Kippur observance, the appropriate birthday recognition, and the best way to approach Al's surgery. If this all is prayer, then let it be so.